Week 18 f LurkerD Notes

I'm actually caught up with my opinion pages.  I thought it'd never happen.  Maybe now i can get the posting back on track to every Friday/Saturday.

Abubu
This artist draws a lot of futanari and incest.  While i may not be too big a fan of incest, Abubu always makes the plots interesting, if not slightly amusing.  The style is very lovely, and futa is only in, maybe, half of the pictures.  I suggest, as always, that you at least take a look.

Kona (Canaria)
This week's vanilla artist; most of what they draw isn't even very sexual, and if it is, it's always too cute to fap to (for me at least).  While i mostly go to Kona for something to admire, you may find a few things to lust after.

Ubanis
It's hard to say whether this artist or myself love cock more.  I'll leave that decision up to you.  Not only is futa found here, quite a few actual males dwell in this artists creative work as well, even if they look and dress as females.  The style is one of my favorites to see, that half-sketchy kind that the mind refines on its own.  I will say that there may be a lot here that you hate.  I, however, find it to be amazing.

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Week 17 of LurkerD Notes

Once again, a single artist of these three ridiculously outclasses the other two, but not quite as much as last week.  On the bright side, no futa!  8D  Well, i've seen one artist do one picture of it.  But that's all.  It is, at the very least, not as boring as i'd feared it would be.

Haguhagu
A very lovely artist who enjoys urethral and watersports.  Haguhagu has a very refined style and a fantastic knack for showing emotions clearly.  Some of it is a bit obscene, but i woudn't go as far as to call it guro, just borderline.

Rib:y(uhki)
As last week, this artist has as much of my adoration as i can give.  Like Jeffr, Yuhki seems to have no limits on what they'll draw.  No matter what you look for in an artist, this on will satisfy your mind (unless you like boring porn, of course).  Whether it be a refined style, sexual stimulation, or even food for thought, the pictures here will keep you occupied for some time.

Softhouse Seal
Mostly a maker of naughty visual novels, this company (i think) has created many wonderful games to rid you of your free time.  The style and content may be a bit vanilla, but they are still worth your time.

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Week 16 of LurkerD Notes

I sure do love cock.  More than half of the artists for the past month have had an obsession with them.  I promise that, this next week, i'll feature some artists with more plain tastes.  Forgive me if it turns out a bit bland.

Jeffr
As i said on my main blog, this artist draws some very disquieting images.  Remember Manglo?  You SHOULD, as she's one of all-time favorite artists.  Imagine her beautiful approach to gore and death, then impregnate that with a love for traps and sado-masochism.  I love Jeffr.  There's no way to adequately describe his work with words.  I'd need to take the most beautiful trap in the world, pump them full of enough ecstacy and PCP to kill a humpback whale, then genetically birth a wasp-spider-octopus for the trap to fuck to death.  And even that wouldn't come close to the sheer beauty of Jeffr.

I'm afraid that Uno Makoto and Yaziri are at such an extreme disadvantage this week, with Jeffr being featured as well, that they only deserve honorable mention.  I should at least say that Uno Makoto loves testicles, semen, and breasts and has MANY pictures to his name, while Yaziri is much less established and only shows a tendency towards ahegao and futa.  Don't think they aren't worth a look, they're worth much more than that.  I just want to stress that Jeffr is in a league of his own.

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Week 15 of LurkerD Notes

Bosshi (Askray)
It's hard to say whether i like Bosshi's pictures or stories more.  He's a master at writing/illustrating doujins as well as stand-alone images.  One of the few artists who seemingly cannot draw something i dislike, Bosshi is the best of this week.  Both tentacles and futanari are present here; so be advised before you click.

Fakepucco
An extremely beautiful and sketchy style is what Fakepucco possesses, allowing your mind to meld the work to more suitably fit your tastes (to an extent, of course).  Scat is very, VERY vaguely present in some of his work (butterscotch), but, for the most part, exaggerated facial expressions and humiliation are what he loves to draw.  I've been a fan of this artist for quite some time now, and i must say that his style has done nothing but improve over time.

Fanatic Fetish
Dicks.  Dicks large enough to beat you to death with.  I'm tempted to just write that and be done with it, but it is worth mentioning that the aforementioned dicks are present singularly on females.  I would tell you not to let that stop you enjoying his style, but i know the majority of you who don't care for futanari won't be swayed by my positive opinion.

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Week 14 of LurkerD Notes

Gekka Kaguya (Urbata)
Futanari is another big fetish of mine, and Urbata manages to sate my appetite for it quite well.  Not only do the women have sumptuous proportions, their faces always show the most delightful expressions.  Some may call the way they look ridiculous or unrealistic, but, while i can admire it, i've never been looking for realism in my drawn porn.  It goes without saying that your opinion of this artist will depend largely on your preference for cock.

Jinjin
Another one that loves girls who could replace men, Jinjin is an artist that i've been following for some time now.  One could say that he was the one who had the most to do with my dickgirl fetish.  Although he started with a style that at least mimicked colored pencil, recently he seems to have taken a liking for more solid colors and refined lines, making his more recent work prettier, if slightly less detailed.  Just as above, if you don't like dick, don't even bother browsing through this pervert's work.

Kenkou Cross
My favorite of the week.  A very devoted man of the unnatural, he makes monster girl encyclopedias and helps develop games specifically for those who can't get enough of women who could kill you on a whim.  I find absolutely every feature of this man's work to be most admirable, although you may think differently if you wont' allow yourself a submissive mindset.

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Week 13 of LurkerD Notes

Nishieda

Even the sketchiest pictures by Nishieda hold beauty in them; while the developed works hold enough to admire for hours.  My only criticism is that i don't see enough anal or oddities in drawn by him, but that's more a matter of personal taste than  artistic ability.  Almost anyone can enjoy this artist.

Rir

Much less realistic in every way than the last artist, Rir loves tentacles and all the fetishes that accompany them.  Although i like the content more than Nishieda's, Rir's artistic skill doesn't come close to his.  Despite that, i still like the latter's work as a whole more than the former's.  Although it would mostly depend on my mood, i generally look at porn because i want to get off, not because i want to admire the strokes of someone's brush.

Ryokuchaism

More monster girls :D  Though not as prolific as the last two, i very much appreciate this artist's work, as it caters to one of my biggest fetishes.  Ryokuchaism draws them quite adorably, even if it appears as though they intend you to be food for the children they'd have with you.

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Week 12 of LurkerD Notes

Kurokami-senpai (Kanenaga)
Some could say that the majority of this work looks extremely sketchy, even unfinished; i agree but believe the artist does this on purpose to emphasize the certain parts of the picture that he bothered to refine.  Faces are extremely important to this one, and i believe that the majority of you should enjoy it.

Mizuki Kotora
This artist enjoys drawing cuteness, along with furries and anthros.  Gender is a matter of groin only to this artist, so don't go browsing if you're determined to stay a straight male.  More than half of the art is not sexually explicit, but it's always very lovely to see.

Xiin
A very extreme artist, with lots of tentacles and body distortion.  Yet another artist that i don't recommend to those who haven't already been browsing tentacle porn for some time.  This is my week's favorite 'w'

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Week 11 of LurkerD Notes

EZ6
This artist has a taste for the extreme.  To me, the more ridiculous and distorted the orifices become, the more likely i am to save it.  You may think differently, but i recommend this only to those interested in slightly horrific bodily violations.  I very much enjoy the style, however rough it may seem.  Even if it looks a bit sketchy, the subjects are always portrayed quite clearly with extremely definitive faces.

Hitomaru
I am absolutely in love with this artist.  I saved their page in my bookmarks long ago as an artist that i thought had potential, and now i've come back years later to be quite pleased with what's developed.  If you're one of the people who's been requesting more tentacles, you should be just as happy as i am with Hitomaru.  More than half of the work done by him features tentacles; the other consists of monsters and a few humans.  Beautiful in every way to me, you should at least browse this artist's home page to give them some traffic.

Kure Masahiro
Another slightly typical artist of these matters, Kure is complimented most with his ability to draw the human body.  He also draws males (just as well as females); which to me is a huge plus, so i suggest you check him out if you have any interest in guys.

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Week 10 of LurkerD Notes

Akai Hana
This is one of the few artist's i've seen that consistently draws robots.  Personally, i find it very appealing, but even if you don't, it shouldn't stop you form appreciating his technical skill.

Akaume
Some of this artist's work disturbed me when i first found it.  I should have known then that i would end up crawling back to him, dissatisfied with my old fetishes.  Quite beautiful and unique, Akaume should keep you occupied for at least an entire day.

Chuushin Kuranosuke
I shall give a very clear disclaimer now: this artist features very extreme penetrations, not to the point where it would kill the person irl, but enough so that many of you will likely find it to be unpleasant.  Once again, though, even if you don't enjoy what is depicted, at least try to relish the facial expressions and drawing techniques.

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Week 9 of LurkerD Notes

Inui Takemaru
<3 This is one of the first artists i ever bothered to keep track of.  I suppose he is the reason i love monster girls.  His comics are my favorite, but even without narrative, his work is always impressive.  If you want cute and sexy creatures that would make most people squirm in their seats, this artist will deliver.

Rindou Aya
A general representation of the hentai artist.  Nothing in particular makes his work stick out to me aside from the fact that it is more beautiful than the typical artists one might see.  Yes, you will find tentacles here.

Yozora
Another artist from my early days in internet lurking, this artist at first actually had me avoiding his work.  Eventually, though, i started to take interest in futa and blood, and soon he was in my list of top artists.  Beware: this artist does guro.  If your personal taste is so offended by such things that you cannot stand anyone who is willing to draw it, you should avoid this.

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Week 8 of LurkerD Notes

Sorry for the late-ish update.  Work hasn't really allowed me to comfortably pick out artists and write about them til now, and i don't want to rush any of these.  Then again, i never promised to update on any specific day of the week.  Oh well.

I went through and picked out the first three artists i thought should be seen, essentially what i did for the first few weeks, but this time without any thought to what would/n't offend people.

Aomidori
Lots of monsters and tentacles are seen throughout this artist's work, making him all the more likeable in my mind.  The style is also very lovely, with attention to detail and shadows.  Some might say that the faces seen here are slightly odd, but to me, it actually endears this artist to me, for no other draws them quite like Aomidori.

Chikokuma
This is certainly one of my favorites.  Not only can monster girls be found here, futa and extreme gaping seem to be two of the artist's favorite preferences.  Even if you don't appreciate any of those fetishes, looking at the work from a purely artistic viewpoint should entertain you a great deal.

Fushisha O
The depictions of this artist are almost purely tentacle-related (for those of you who requested to see more) and once again they impress on levels of both artistry and fetish-quenching.  Of all the features in these pictures, the faces are probably my favorite, for they almost always display emotions of pleasure that border on the insane.

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Week 7 of LurkerD Notes

I have decided to devote this week to artists whose productions are both beautiful, to the point of needing to be hung in a gallery, and disturbing.  Mostly the former, but the latter applies, even if only in a small way to certain people, to all listed below.  I hope you enjoy being disturbed as i do.

Manglo
Many people say that the work of this artist is disgusting.  I say she does beautiful work, and yet i can't help but admit that the idiot's who blindly look at her work and dismiss it are right as well.  The difference between us is: i can enjoy the disgusting aspect of it.  Unless you're into gore, or death (a fetish of mine), this art is not even sexual.  This is by far the most disturbing and beautiful artist this week.

Naglfar Sakura
It's my opinion that this artist has the most technical skill of the three; his work looks like actual paintings (though i cannot verify this).  More monster girls, like last week, but this time it's themed mostly around reverse-gangbang situations.  I cannot stand a regular gangbang unless the girl is technically raping the men; however, a reverse gangbang actually turns me on.  I'm very sexist against men, you see, but now this is getting a bit tangential.  Let me just say that this artist's website is actually in my main bookmarks (as is Manglo's).

Youkai Ankake
I almost want to say that this one is a contender to Manglo on the disturbing scale, but really, it depends on your personal tastes.  If blood and gore turn your stomach, Manglo will get to you more than if monsters and rape grates against your mind, in which case Youkai is worse for you.  I very much admire this artist, even if he doesn't have such a special place in my heart as Manglo, for he lacks her symbolism.  Still, it is very nice to see tentacles and impossible sexual acts so artfully displayed.

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If i Were God: Heaven

Heaven/hell would be a much different place than the religions depict.  First off, there wouldn't be two segregated camps of people who did the 'right' or 'wrong' things in life.  It would function as many social sites do today, allowing people to only visit/be visited by people they like/permit, respectively.  You would have a computer to send requests for such things, do it in your head, or any other interface you could think up.  After that, i have a few different ideas about how the places to be visited would work:

~An afterlife reflective of how you treated your environment while you were alive; i.e. you get one acre of land.  Then, for every piece of trash you went out of your way to pick up, that you had no contact with before you picked it up,  another acre of land gets added to your lot.  Along with this, every piece of trash you threw out the window of a car, tossed next to a trash can, into a forest or river, etc. will be in your eternal sanctuary forever.  You won't be able to move it or hide it in any way, it will age in your haven just as it did after it first left your hand before you died.

~You can do anything, absolutely anything with your allotted property.  It can be warped, twisted, layered, folded, anything you can possibly think of, but if you allow walking on that surface, it will take up some of your land.  Any physics you like can be applied to the world you have (for most people this would mean imposing different video-game logic upon their worlds, e.g. minecraft physics, destruction-mod physics, portal physics).  Houses (every story would eat up a portion of your land of course), plants, water features, wildlife, and anything else you have in your mind can be added to your little world.

~You can have a normal sun and moon along with their regular cycles for the background or use something you saw in your life or even create something from your imagination to surround your world.

~If so desired, worlds can be joined to create new ones either partially or entirely.  Whether or not they will be separated again is up to either party, both can create and destroy as they wish on the land and either is able to sever their amount of given land from the whole of the property at any time without consent (more complicated rules would be in place for things like group projects and such, but this is already sounding enough like a psychotic's delusional contract as it is).

One last thing, to fix the rather glaring issue that some of you may have seen: people are shit.  Say, for instance, two people create a world together and then one insults the other somehow and either of them destroys the whole place before taking their chunk of land and doing something else with it.  Obviously, some people involved in this situation would tell others about it, with the truth in all manner of distortion.  Things would likely escalate until there were two or more factions at war, as much as they could be in such a place, constantly.  This does not allow for a very good afterlife, does it?  So, to address the issue, there would be a device.  It would appear differently to everyone, as a person or a machine or a disembodied spirit, etc.  All one would have to do is call out its name (i may be delusional but not enough to bother thinking of a name for it) to have conference with it, multiple persons allowed at once either in groups or individually.  It would have a record of everything in memory format; i.e. people could either experience things from someone's viewpoint directly, through their eyes, or in video form.  All that would be necessary is to request a certain person and a time frame (i am not going to think of a time-keeping system for this fantasy).  With this, one could hold meetings to bring out the truth or simply be voyeuristic (though i don't imagine anyone would want to be in this place).

I have more ideas for my heaven but for now i'm tired.  I'll most likely write some more about it when i'm bored.  Feel free to comment if you see errors in my logic.  There probably are.

Week 6 of LurkerD Notes

I am quite perverted, i suppose, for liking monster girls so damn much.  Perhaps it's the idea that the girls can defend themselves easily that  turns me on so much, or maybe it's that i don't find humans to my tastes as a rule (not that i'm into animals, either).  Either way, here's three prolific artists that enjoy this fetish at least as much as i do.  I hope you do as well.

7010:  I think all of you will like this artist, as the pictures are all very pretty.  Even if you don't particularly like monster girls, you should at least be able to admire the artistic side of his work. 

Bi-Nyo:  :D  This artist's work is always adorable.  The monsters (along with the males) are always drawn to be appealingly cartoonish, even if they're engaged in sex.  I don't think i've ever actually finished to it before, but it's still quite enjoyable to look at.

Petaro:  Yet another artist, as last week, that i don't necessarily recommend viewing.  It may be true that i find his work utterly irresistible, but chances are quite high that you will not.  He's probably the only artist in my archive that has gore, and for a very specific reason: his monsters tend to eat the males that mistreat them.  I like the concept, but you may not.  This is my favorite of the three.

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Week 5 of LurkerD Notes

I love tentacles.  I love everything they touch, leave behind, or are mentioned in.  As such, i love all of these artists.  All three are masters of the tentacle fetish; there is little i can say that will not apply to all of them.  Let me simply point out how their art differs.

Aoi Nagisa
In my opinion, this one has the prettiest work.  It's very nice to look at even if you aren't in the mood to appreciate porn correctly.

Injuotoko
The cartooniest of the three, this artist's work has humor occasionally and even one "cute" comic.

Lusterise
The most realistic one, i don't suggest looking at this artist at all unless you're already greatly desensitized to tentacle pr0n, as some of the action featured can turn one's stomach.

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Week 4 of LurkerD notes

So yes, this is a little experiment to see if i can get more attention to my other blog.  And vice versa.  I'm an attention whore just like everybody else here.

Jay Naylor:  not the best artist i've seen, but his work is still very pretty to look at.  He mostly features cute girls and over-sized phalli, a very good combination imo.

Peritian: here is an artist who knows how to draw beauty.  Absolutely every single one of his works is gorgeous in at least one way; facial expression, body contours, gender-disambiguation, etc.  He, along with the next artist, completely obliterated my hesitancy to look at 'gay' pr0n.

Rajii: i don't know how to put into words how much i admire his work.  The first picture i saw (the one in the preview w/o editing) broke my already cracked ideals about gender into fine sand that was swiftly blown away by his other work.  It doesn't matter if he draws male, female, or the alternatives; every character in his work is featured under my definition of hawt.

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Dysfunctionality

Occasionally i like to poison myself.  Not with arsenic or mercury, nothing that strong; i'm talking about alcohol, tobacco smoke, even sometimes with extremely fatty foods.  Anything is a poison if you partake too much.

I don't know if anyone else feels this way.  I've never discussed it before, besides in my own head.

The reason behind it is quite simple: i like feeling mortal.  It's nice, at least to me, to be reminded that no, you are not going to live forever; this is not a permanent state; your consciousness will eventually leave this body.  It reminds me to make the most of my time.  Rather than play that video game or watch that anime, i should record my thoughts or help something grow.  I suppose getting sick could remind me of that as well.  Too bad that doesn't happen very often - but more on that later.

Do you think anyone else needs a reminder of such a thing?  You see, my problem is that sometimes my mind gets so high on joy and sorrow that i forget that there's more to life than just emotions and feelings.  I guess that's also where my eating disorder comes from.

I wouldn't call myself an anorexic.  What i do is i forget to eat.

This is an average thought process for my mind relating to food.
1: My mind registers that my stomach wants something.
2: My mind tells me that i'm hungry.
3: I go through a series of questions to determine if it's worth eating.
~Are you enjoying what you are doing?  If no, proceed
~Are you lying down?  If no, proceed
~Can you think of anything particular that you would like to eat?  If yes, proceed
~Do you have access to what you want to eat?  If yes, proceed
~Has it been more than 6 hours since you last ate?  If yes, proceed
~Is you weight under 125 again?  If yes, then go get what you want to eat.
This is assuming i can get through all of the questions without getting distracted by something.

It just never matters enough to feed my body unless i know that it actually needs it.  This is one of the many reasons for why i can never seem to relate to the average human.

For instance, i never get headaches.  Not once have i ever gotten one.  So, when someone says 'holy Toledo my head's KILLING me!' i never know what to say to them.  For all i know, headaches actually cause continual orgasms and they've run out of semen and/or vaginal secretions and their body is desperately  attempting to pump something, anything out of their nether regions and their head is killing them via blood loss or whatever (please note that if you DO get orgasms from headaches, this was in no way intended to make fun of you).

Another issue that makes me uncomfortable around people: their fascination with celebrities.  What's that?  Kim Kardashian recently adopted a convicted serial rapist and is fighting with the Supreme Court to get him busted out of jail so she can break the curse some hotline psychic placed on her?  How FASCINATING.  It's difficult enough for me to relate to people standing directly in front of me, let alone when they live in a palace constructed from unicorn horns and broken spirits of the damned working-class who can't afford a decent pair of shoes but still pay 20 dollars a week to read about someone who doesn't even know, or care, that they exist.

It might seem like i think i'm better than those people.  I almost think so, but no.  To me, the fact that they can let themselves care about things so trivial and meaningless is a sign that they're sane.  I envy them in some ways.  Especially the ones who have multiple orgasms when they get headaches.

My computer has the matrix. Let's hope it's not catching...

I never thought i'd see the matrix on a computer screen (aside from screen savers).  I was a little too violent when i was trying to make my poor laptop work last night and it told me exactly where i could shove my persistence.  Of course, it wasn't actually the matrix, but how else would you describe several vertical columns of greenish numbers that were constantly changing?

Anyways, i have a new laptop now.  I was hoping to wait until i could afford a truly high-end system, but the mere thought of subsisting without a laptop for a few weeks nearly drove me to self-harm while i was trying to sleep last night.  Plus, i had to keep my other blog updated, and i'd have hated to delay on the second update.

Like i said, it's not a monstrous computer, but it at least has quad-core.  I suppose anything more for a laptop would be slightly overkill anyways.  This one should last me a few years at minimum.  By then i should be wanting for a computer that can't double as a frisbee.

I'm still debating if i should frame the old one or take a shotgun to it and set it on fire after.

Laptop Monstrosity

Let me describe to you how i'm able to even get on this site at all, my computer's tale of zombification.

Several years ago, my grandma bought me a laptop as a present.  She gave me a price limit and let me wander through stores both online and in person.  Eventually i found one that i just couldn't keep my eyes off of (a special, limited edition HP) and decided that it was the one i had to have, regardless of price.  It was 50 over the limit she had set but with a little persuasion she said yes, but that i couldn't get any accessories (which was fine with me because i hadn't planned on that in the first place).

When i got it, i was utterly manic over having my own computer.  You see, the only computer i'd been able to remotely call my own before then was a humongous dinosaur of a processor that had trouble running Ski-Free (the game where the abominable snowman always eats you after you ski a certain distance down).  I had discovered porn with that computer but was always extremely paranoid about leaving history and such for my parents to later find, so my activities involving such things were always very limited.  So, when i finally had access to the internet without processing limitation nor parental supervision, i became a complete and total porn addict within days.  No site remained unvisited by me in those few months, no movie unwatched, no porn unfapped.

That's when i found out about viruses, trojans, etc.  I knew about avast, however, and had installed it previously on both my parents' computer and my laptop.  Of course, being the free version, it was only a matter of time before something broke through and killed my computer.  I was in shock when it happened and immediately started learning everything i could (using my parents' computer) about rebooting and recovering memory on a corrupt drive.  I learned the simplest and most surefire way to save the hard drive was to simply reset the laptop to factory settings using either a disk or a separate hard drive that some (now all) computers come with.  I knew i would lose my precious collection of information but decided that i'd rather know my hard drive was completely clean than save a few pictures and movies.

So i began anew, this time much more cautious about what sites i visited and downloaded from.  My computer lasted much longer on this second round, more than a year went by without any particularly nasty viruses finding my computer.  I can't remember exactly what i downloaded, but i do know it was my first experience being trolled.  There was some random file that supposedly had 'the most amazing shite you'll ever see' inside it.  I was skeptical but either the uploader or his fellow trolls left comments like 'awesome,' 'i'll never watch another porn again,' 'my penis has found his soul mate.'  So i downloaded it and unzipped it and tried to play the extremely small file that had come out of a much larger zipped version.  Avast had just enough time to tell me that i had several trojans and a worm on my computer before it restarted itself and displayed a blue screen.

That time i wasn't so sure about the factory reset working.  By then i was much more tech-savvy and knew that my system files (on both hard drives) had likely been completely destroyed.  I tried it anyways and much to my surprise, it worked.  My computer didn't seem to care one bit that it had been skull-fucked by my sheer retardation.  After that i decided that my computer must either be extremely lucky or the reincarnation of superman, so i decided that this next time i used it i wouldn't be so cautious.  Afterwards, my computer didn't seem to care what virus i got: i even went without avast for a few months and didn't have any negative effects aside from a few random things (like the on-screen keyboard always being displayed at startup no matter how many times i told it not to).  I thought my laptop had reached some state of mechanical nirvana due to overdoses of porn and viruses.

Then it started breaking down physically.  It was always my fault: balancing it on the arm of a chair and it would fall off, busting part of the casing; hurling myself onto my bed when i was tired and forgetting that my computer was there until i heard a crack when my face made contact with it; but most erroneously of all, letting it overheat once too often.

You see, where i lived at the time it got EXTREMELY hot.  I don't mean above 100 Fahrenheit as a record, i mean above 120 regularly in the summer.  That along with my dad being incredibly cheap meant our house stayed around 85 degrees in the summer at the coolest.  I used to be careful about it, but since i now thought my computer had superpowers, i didn't care how hot the casing got, even if it hurt to put my hand on it.  It was only after several months of gaining a callous where my left hand rested on the keyboard due to the heat that my computer finally broke under the pressure.

I pressed the power button one day, eager to expand my collection of porn, only for my computer to turn on and let the fan run for two seconds, and then turn into a brick.  The fan would shut off, the display wouldn't light up, and my caps and number lock lights would flash at me.  I had no idea what it meant so i looked it up on a friend's laptop and found that many HP's had the same problem, right down to the cause and the symptoms.  HP, however, didn't seem to care about the issue.  Some of the posts i had read about it were more than 5 years old and never had been resolved.  The solution seemed to be buy a new motherboard, but since my computer was so special (at least in my eyes), i wouldn't entertain the notion of replacing hardware.  I decided to try and resolve the issue in my own way.

I had read about one man who had left his computer sitting, undisturbed, for months on end only to turn it on whimsically to find that the computer acted like nothing had happened to it.  Of course, next time he shut it off, it wouldn't turn on again.  I theorized that some of the components on the motherboard must have either fused together or been separated due to heat, so i thought the most likely way to get it to work again would be to somehow reverse the effect of the heat.

I first tried simply bending the computer slightly where i knew the motherboard was located while turning it on, using different angles after every failed attempt.  After that failed, i decided to turn it on and let it run for and hour before bending it out of the hope that the heat would make the connections of the motherboard more malleable.  To my utter delight, it worked!  I had my computer back, even if it was irreversibly damaged.

You see, if my laptop's interior ever gets above a certain temperature, it will shut off.  I enjoy playing games with it, though, so i had to find another solution to widen the operable temperature range.  I decided that, since bending worked to turn it on, perhaps keeping it bent in such a way would extend it's life.  Once again, my caveman tactics worked.  I could once again abuse the video card as well as the internet with my computer.  All i had to do was put my laptop's edges on two objects (like books, or currently, bricks) and place an extremely heavy object directly above the motherboard.  Still, it cannot compare with the god-like state it was in before its guts melted.  It probably has 60-70% of the performance capability that it used to.

You know what's truly horrifying, though?  It's starting to operate better.  Only within the last two months, i haven't needed to bend it in order to turn it on.  I tested it with video-games and suddenly i can play them at full quality without the frame-rate chugging.  It even seems to prefer not being weighed down in the middle anymore.

I'm not sure what my laptop is doing to itself, but i thank my noodly, marinara drenched god that i bought it.

Intro

So yeah.  This is my first blog and i hope it goes well.

It's quite nerve-wracking when you know that whatever you type can and probably will be read by the entire internet.  I just hope i don't do anything too extreme and make everyone who reads this hate me.

I haven't actually read anyone's FIRST blog so i'm going without any guidelines here, but i suppose i'll treat it like i just walked into a new school and introduce myself.

Call me Virvagne if you have to call me anything.  I will likely never reveal my actual name on here, but things like that have a habit of discovering themselves.  I like music, perversion and chocolate.  The most interesting thing about me is probably that i don't think in English.  If i want to get a thought out, i have to translate it into this most common of languages for the benefit of communication.  No, i do not think in Japanese or French or any other language; i think in tones and obscurities, melodies and shades.  Odd as it is, it does tend to make my thought process faster than most, even if i sometimes struggle to put into words exactly what i was just thinking about.  Thus, in addition to my odd nature and tendency towards extremism, i tend to be quite reserved and silent around those i meet in public.  Every now and again, however, i'll snap (due to lack of sleep or overdose of sugar) and let my scalier, crepuscular side show to those i'd rather not see it.

As usual when starting something, i have no real idea as to why i decided to start a personal blog and another entirely separate one simultaneously.  I'll figure it out eventually (or maybe not).

Comment as you like on here, i pledge to never delete a comment (or a post for that matter).  I actually enjoy reading what the inhabitants of the internet have to say, regardless of thought or intent behind it.  Your rage amuses me especially, though i do enjoy a good intelligent exchange of thought every now and then.

I guess that's it.  Here is my blog.  I'll update when something interesting happens or if i think a memory deserves to be shared.